A Psalm of Lament by a Sinner and Saint

 

A Psalm of Lament by a Sinner and Saint
Written by Josh Dorey

Where are You, O God?
Why do You delay in answering me?
Will You leave me to drown in my tears?

For hours I cry out,
waiting for You to release me
from the pain of my anguish—
yet You do not come. 

The burden feels too heavy for me to bear.
I fear I will be swallowed by my tears,
or that the pain will consume me
before You answer. 

Are You not a God who delights in His children?
Am I not Yours?
Do You not care?
Do You not hear?

I remember the stories
of how You heard the cries of Your people
and came to rescue them.

You sent plagues upon Egypt,
and Pharaoh released Your people. 

You parted the Red Sea.
You made water flow from the rock.
You caused the walls of Jericho
to fall at the blast of a trumpet. 

You rescued David,
striking down Goliath with a single stone. 

You caused the blind to see,
the lame to walk,
and the dead to rise.

Though You ordained the killing of Your Son,
on the third day You raised Him
by the power of the Holy Spirit.

You said that if we trust in Jesus,
that same Spirit lives and works in us.
Does that promise not apply to me?

Did not Jesus defeat sin on the cross?
Did You not conquer death
by raising Him from the grave? 

Is He not exalted in heaven,
seated at Your right hand?

Surely the testimony of the five hundred is true—
they claimed they saw Him
with their own eyes. 

Surely what I ask of You
is not too great a thing.

Are You not able
to wipe away my tears,
heal my pain,
take away my sorrow,
and restore my joy? 

You stood in a boat
and with a single command
You calmed the raging sea.

Why will You not speak into my heart
and make it still? 

Do You not care for me?
Am I not Your child?
Am I not purchased
by the blood of the Lamb
and sealed with Your Spirit?

Perhaps I have sinned too much.
Or perhaps I have not sinned enough
for You to answer me. 

If only I were blameless like Enoch.
Or prideful and foolish like Samson.
Perhaps doubtful like Thomas.

What if I denied You three times like Peter?
Would You then awaken?
Would You then rise
and come to my rescue? 

Then the LORD spoke—
and I was silenced.

Your word passed through my heart
like wind through a sail,
like an arrow through flesh. 

I am undone. 

My jaw falls open in awe;
my knees bow in humility.

Who am I
that You should hear me?

Who am I
that You should answer me?

Who am I
that You should moisten
my cracked lips with a sponge?

I tried to chasten the LORD my God.
I tried to call Him to account
and summon Him to trial.

Yet in His mercy He let me live.

In His grace He did not send me to Sheol.

In His compassion He dried my tears
so that I would not drown in their flood.

He comforted my pain
so that I could praise,
eat, and rest.

Though I remain in distress
and sorrow still lingers,

Because the LORD has spoken,
I have peace.

For He has assured me
that I am His
and He is mine.

He tells me to take courage
and wait upon Him.

For He will act.

As He spoke to Moses,
so He speaks to me:

“The LORD will fight for you;
you need only be still.”

Blessed are the children of the LORD—
those who trust in the One true God. 

For their God will answer them.
Their King will ransom His people.

 He will come in their hour of need.

The King of the LORD’s people lives.
And He will return again.